Gillende ruzie op het schoolplein

Chagrijnig van het neverending luizendisaster, vertrek ik met kinderen richting school. pablo-374

Jongste op step, middelste met de fiets en oudste meerennend. Zoals ik hem van te voren al had gezegd (maar wie ben ik) houdt zoonlief dit welgeteld één blokje vol. Achterop dan maar. We stoppen midden op het fietspad (niet handig, I know), zodat hij er op kan klimmen.

‘OPSTOPPING!’ Moeder met bakfiets botst bijna tegen me aan. Ik spring vlug weer op mijn fiets en sjees door, zoon K. achterop. ‘SORRY!’ gil ik nog over m’n schouder.

Een minuut later word ik ingehaald door een verwilderde man met woeste blik in zijn ogen. ‘JE KIJKT NIET EENS!’ Ik kijk als een gek om me heen. In de bakfiets van woeste man  zit een jongetje… met bloedlip. Oh oh. Heb ik dat veroorzaakt? Nee, dat kan niet. Die man fietste niet eens achter mij. Misschien daarachter dan…

‘Ik zei WEL sorry en je fietste niet eens achter mij! Hoef je me niet meteen zo aan te vallen!’

‘AANVALLEN? NOEM JE DIT AL AANVALLEN?!! Je voelt je gewoon te goed om te kijken. Met je.. R!’

What the F. ‘M’n R? Ik kom uit Brabant! Ik heb helemaal geen bekakte R.’

‘Nou, dan heb je je goed aangepast. Er zijn meer mensen op de wereld hoor!’

Overstuur ren ik het schoolplein op, mijn tranen met moeite bedwingend. K. kijkt me bezorgd aan. Met een geforceerde glimlach probeer ik hem gerust te stellen.

Als ik terugloop zie ik woeste man plus bakfiets staan. Ik loop snel naar hem toe. Dit gaan we NU oplossen. Hij reageerde net natuurlijk een beetje impulsief van schrik. Er valt nu vast een goed gesprek te voeren.

‘Hi, laten we…’

‘GA JE NU NAAR ME TOE KOMEN? MEEN JE DAT? GA JE ECHT NU NAAR ME TOE KOMEN?!’

‘Ik wilde het uitpraten. Onze kinderen zitten op dezelfde…’

‘JIJ HEBT ECHT NUL EMPATISCH VERMOGEN!’

Ik draai me om en loop weg. Gelukkig zie ik vriendin M. een stukje verder op me wachten. ‘Wat zat die kerel tegen jou te schreeuwen?’

Zodra we de hoek om zijn barst ik in huilen uit.

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Auteur: Renske Kaldewaij

Ella Ebeling is de creatie van schrijver en journalist Renske Kaldewaij. Net als Ella is Renske 38 jaar oud, ruim zeven jaar verloofd en moeder van drie kinderen. De verhalen zijn deels autobiografisch, deels verzonnen.

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