Laat mij maar opnemen…

Regen, vakantie, vijf (!) losgeslagen kinderen in huis.IMG_0348

Ik zie geen andere keus dan het KINDERSPEELPARADIJS. Een plek waar ik normaal gesproken niet dood gevonden wil worden.

Vriendin E. vergezelt me. Zij heeft maar één lief popje bij zich. Dat ze met me mee wil is een wonder. Ik sta ontzettend bij haar in het krijt.

Jassen en schoenen worden neergesmeten en weg zijn de kinderen. E. en ik negeren de schoenenhoesjes en lopen door op onze hakjes alsof we gek zijn (in mijn geval niet ver van de waarheid). Ik weiger hier op sokken te lopen en die plastic dingen trek ik van mijn leven niet aan.

We ploffen neer op plastic stoeltjes, aan een plastic tafel. Zodra onze billen het koude materiaal raken, gaan we van start. Zo snel mogelijk brengen we elkaar op de hoogte van alle nieuwtjes en laatste roddels. MAJOR important allemaal. Hoewel we knettersnel door elkaar heen praten, horen we precies wat de ander zegt. Een kunst, die lang niet iedereen beheerst.

Wel zie ik de speeltoestellen steeds harder heen en weer zwieren voor mijn ogen. Ook  verschijnen er meer en meer zwarte vlekken. Als E. begint te klagen over duizeligheid, gaan bij mij alle alarmbellen af.

OH NEE, EEN KOOLMONOXIDE VERGIFTIGING!

Zullen wij net hebben. Ik spring op om de kinderen te verzamelen. Ik word nog duizeliger. Oh nee, we gaan het niet redden. Ik kijk naar de tafel naast me en dan naar alle personen om me heen. NIEMAND heeft IETS in de gaten. E. en ik zullen IEDEREEN moeten redden. Ik zie de krantenkoppen al voor me… Nee Ella, dit is niet de tijd of de plaats!

‘Ik pak deze kant, jij die kant. Eerst de kinderen’, sis ik E. toe. E. kijkt me aan of ik chinees spreek. ‘De koolmonoxide, we moeten snel zijn.’

Waarom is E. niet aan het flippen? Flip E., flip!

‘Ella, chill. We hebben gewoon te snel gepraat. Neem even adem.’ Ik adem in en uit, in en uit. Na een paar minuten stilte (van mijn kant) voel ik me inderdaad een stuk beter. Jeeeezz…als de psych me vrijdag niet meteen op laat nemen, weet ik het ook niet meer.

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Auteur: Renske Kaldewaij

Ella Ebeling is de creatie van schrijver en journalist Renske Kaldewaij. Net als Ella is Renske 38 jaar oud, ruim zeven jaar verloofd en moeder van drie kinderen. De verhalen zijn deels autobiografisch, deels verzonnen.

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