Screaming Match in the School Playground

Cranky from the never-ending louse disaster, I head (excuse the pun) off to school with the kids. Youngest on the scooter, middle child on the bike and the eldest kind of runs alongside. As I told him before (but who am I…) he keeps it up for only one little block. Back of the bike it is. We stop in the middle of the bike lane (not handy, I know), so that he can climb on the back of my bike.

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WATCH OUT! The mother on a cargo-bike almost crashes into me. I quickly jump back on to my bike and cycle on, son K on the back. SORRY! I holler over my shoulder . A minute later I am overtaken by an angry man with a very fierce and wild look in his eyes. ‘Look where you’re going!’ Like a fool, I look around me. In the man’s cargo-bike is a little boy with a bleeding lip. Oh no. Did I do that? No, I can’t have – that man wasn’t even cycling behind me….maybe he was a couple of bikes behind…

‘I said sorry and anyway, you were not even cycling next to me. You can’t just shout abuse at me!’

‘ABUSE? You call this ABUSE?!! You stand there all high and mighty, looking down your nose at me! With your snobby, posh accent!’

W.T.F. ‘My accent? I come from the countryside! I am not snobby or posh.’

‘Well, you’ve not adjusted very well. There are more people in the world now – we’re not all hoighty toighty!’

Upset, I continue on my way to school, restraining my tears with great difficulty.

  1. looks at me anxiously. With a forced smile, I try to reassure him.

After dropping the kids off, I see Angry Man plus cargo-bike. I walk quickly up to him. We are going to solve this NOW. He must have over-reacted out of shock. We’ve had time to calm down and now we can have a good conversation. Clear the air.

‘Hi, let’s …’

‘ARE YOU COMING UP TO ME NOW? ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU COMING UP TO ME NOW?’

‘I wanted to finish our conversation. Our kids are in the same…’

‘YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! YOU HAVE NO empathy!’

I turn and walk away. Fortunately, my girlfriend M. is waiting around the corner for me.

‘Why was that bloke yelling at you?’

Once we are out of sight, I burst into tears.

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Auteur: Renske Kaldewaij

Ella Ebeling is de creatie van schrijver en journalist Renske Kaldewaij. Net als Ella is Renske 38 jaar oud, ruim zeven jaar verloofd en moeder van drie kinderen. De verhalen zijn deels autobiografisch, deels verzonnen.

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