Shhhhh!…..Mummy’s Sleeping

Today I feel a little bit better. Wallowing in my own misery always does me so much good.
With treats for my daughter’s birthday successfully bought from the supermarket, I’m on the up. Readymade cupcakes covered in sugary icing and smarties. They look festive and the kids all find them so yummy. Not particularly towing the lines of the school ‘healthy-eating’ policy, but sugar gives energy and it just so happens I think these kids need it. Youngest is hyper and literally bounces next to me as we walk to school (ok, too much sugar is also not so good) and she skips into her classroom. The teacher asks me if I would like to stay. I inwardly groan but react with the most natural enthusiasm. Luckily she wants to celebrate straightaway, at least I don’t have to come back later.


For two minutes I stand unhelpfully in-between the little tables and chairs, children arriving and parents departing. Chaotic kids in every direction. How does a teacher do it? I literally can’t think of anything worse.

I sink down into a little chair. A little boy, with way too much gel in his hair, walks angrily up to me. ‘That is my chair!’ Ok Ok Ok. Calmly I slope off and go and sit on a table. This time a sweet little girl with perfectly braided hair (how does her mother find the time for this?) comes to speak to me. ‘Oh I’m going to tell the teacher on you. You’re not allowed to sit on the tables.’ Not so sweet after all. Little tell-tale.

Don’t these kids have anything better to do? I force a smile and position myself against the wall, next to the white board. If one more kid comes up to me to complain, I’m off.
Finally, everyone sits down (me, at last perched on an inoffensive miniature stool) and now the party can begin. L. beams from ear to ear and I find myself sneakily enjoying the little birthday party.

‘Hip Hip Hooray!’, shout all the kids. ‘One more time even louder so L.’s daddy at work can hear!’ The kids scream louder. ‘And now one more time, really quietly, for all the babies that are sleeping during the day.’

‘Just like my mummy’, says L, really happily. ‘She also lies in bed the whole day.’
I shrink down on my little stool in shame.

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Auteur: Renske Kaldewaij

Ella Ebeling is de creatie van schrijver en journalist Renske Kaldewaij. Net als Ella is Renske 38 jaar oud, ruim zeven jaar verloofd en moeder van drie kinderen. De verhalen zijn deels autobiografisch, deels verzonnen.

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