I Can’t Do It!

It is a pretty big thing, but until now I’m handling it just fine. UNTIL NOW.

Because I have arrived in the CENTRE of AMSTERDAM. With a very big VAN. In an ini mini parking lot. With ini mini parking spaces. What now? Park it in that tiny spot? Well, let’s hope for the best… (am on the verge of closing my eyes…).

A shrieking sound doesn’t predict a good outcome. Stoical (am pretty used to this kind of stuff by now), I get out of the van. Yes, that scratch is very much there. What now, what next?

I drive the van out of the parking lot. Shaking (allright, am not that tough…), I call fiancé. ‘Just hit a car and drove off. But I don’t feel like driving anymore. What should I do? And the wooden cabinet is still in the back.’

First faincé sends me back to the car I hit, to leave a note (oh yeah, should have thought of that… bit antisocial Ella). Then fiancé instructs me to get home immediately. He will deal with the cabinet later.

For once I decide to listen to my love and go home. Via the Amsterdam canals I try to leave the centre. I ignore a ‘do not enter’ sign. Let’s not make things more complicated than they already are.

Halfway the (do-not-enter) road next to the canal two gentlemen in security outfits approach me with their arms raised. ‘Miss, you have to leave now. For the next two hours no one is allowed to go in.’

Whaaaat? No way I am driving backwards with this van. Next to a CANAL! I panic. ‘Can one of you guys back it up? Please? I really can’t!’

‘No miss, we are needed here. Go on. You can do it.’

Jeeeezzzz, is the king about to arrive or what? With my hands shaking on the wheel, I drive backwards at a speed of 5 miles an hour.

And NO, security people, telling me to go faster is NOT helping!

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Auteur: Renske Kaldewaij

Ella Ebeling is de creatie van schrijver en journalist Renske Kaldewaij. Net als Ella is Renske 38 jaar oud, ruim zeven jaar verloofd en moeder van drie kinderen. De verhalen zijn deels autobiografisch, deels verzonnen.

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